He was a contemporary man, he was a good, solid user. He was the type of person to say things like "how was your day?" and respond to it with peaceful words. Many liked him, he always followed the crowd and was a popular kid around. There was times when he could be salty, sometimes you could hear him saying "my day was bad, please don't annoy me".
But, then it all changed suddenly. As the legend goes, he woke up one day and thought to himself, 'I am a boring fella, I need to change my ways'. He got up from his bed and moved 6 inches, then decided he was too lazy to move anymore; he stopped moving.
It was all but 3 hours later of thoughtful words, speaking to himself about life problems. He decided to move, this time making it far enough to get some delicious energy into himself. The kitchen was only 7 meters away, yet he found himself struggling once again. A glorious 5 minutes later he makes it there, and spotted something in a far corner of his kitchen. It was, a banana. The thoughts started running through his head, "what can I do with this beautiful piece of gods fruit?" The ideas started to make his pants grow, slightly. He never knew he could be such a thoughtful person, with many excellent ideas coming straight to mind.
Stepping closer to the banana, he knew what needed to be done. He thought "back to bed, I need to go", and without second hesitation, that's what he done. Once back in his bedroom he started up his Master Race PC, went straight to Edge™ browser, pulled up his favorite furry website. He looked through the categories, and found one epic category. Catgirl. While beating the meat, and using the banana, in, lets say, odd ways; he decided that it was his new favorite thing to think about.
He, eh, finished. Tissues cleaned up, bed made. Glory time has stopped, he then proceeded to exit life.exe and startup Garry's Mod. He stumbled across the servers of the one and only WarZone.gg, and here we are.
Part 2 to come, adventure time is only getting started.